Self-confidence is a very essential ingredient for success in any field of life. Without such confidence we are afraid to take risks. We also don’t have the courage to explore higher horizons in our capacity to perform our deeds within this world.
Real self confidence is not based on our achievements or our successes in this material world but it is based on the fulfillment of who we are, what our purpose is and what we represent to ourselves, our families and to the world around us.
If a person has such self confidence then he can generate confidence and faith in others .Actually to fail is not much of a loss, to lose one’s character & integrity is a major loss to our inner life.
A person with proper disposition and attitude is willing to accept even major failures in the eyes of the world in order to preserve the high values that he or she believes in .If we’re willing to sell our ideals, our ethics, our character, our integrity, to sell our soul for the adoration of this world then our so called self confidence will be built on a foundation of sand. It has no real substance and it can bring us no real fulfillment.
Six Common Indicators of Low Self Esteem
Low self esteem really means a lack of really finding fulfillment within one’s inner life.
1. People with low self esteem like to gossip. Why? Because that’s what gives them pleasure. They do not have any substance inside. Whereas people who are actually self confident they speak of their ideals in life not of the faults of others.
2. A person with low self esteem is quick to criticize others, whereas a person with some inner fulfillment is respectful to others, he is naturally longing to show respect to others, to be caring toward others.
3. A person with low self esteem is arrogant. He thinks “I’ve done this, I’ve conquered these nations, I’ve made these millions, and I’ve won these tournaments and so on. They are very eager to try to convince other people of how great they are, how successful they are, and what they have accomplished within this world. But a person with actual self confidence is humble. Why? Because they simply don’t need to impress people with cheap words of conceit. If you are actually very weak within you have to brag about whatever great or little things you have done to try to get the approval the recognition and the adoration of others. But if you have inner fulfillment, if you have confidence in yourselves you don’t need that.
One sage in Himalaya once told me that when you do something good & you tell somebody about what you do then by telling you exhaust most of the credits of what you have done.
4. In the world today we want to take credit for what we have not done & we want to give blame to others for what we have done .This is another quality of a person with low self esteem. He makes excuses and blames others for their apparent shortcomings whereas a person of self confidence actually takes responsibility doesn’t make excuses doesn’t blame others takes responsibility of what they have done or what they have not done & is always striving to improve themselves .
5.Persons with low self esteem are dependent on the appreciation and praise and approval of others whereas as a person with self confidence is willing to speak what is true and do what is right even if it is very unpopular. Especially for the youth in the world today association is such a powerful influence. Most people don’t smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol or do all of these illicit things simply because they really want to do it. They do it because they want to look cool they want to be accepted by the people around them but this is the age of quarrel and hypocrisy and to be accepted by the masses in the age of means there is something seriously wrong with you .Integrity means we understand what is right & we do it even if people criticize us even if people make jokes or laugh against us eventually those same people would come to us when they are in trouble because they understand that here is a person with integrity.
6. Those with low self esteem are easily jealous about other people successes. What is jealousy that means we are so hollow so empty within there is so lack of fulfillment in our worth our value and who we are that we actually have to feel a type of hatred and jealousy towards others who appears to be better. A person with real self confidence is the well wisher of everyone. He is not so concerned with one’s reputation but concerned with one’s character. He is not so concerned with what one can get and what can one prove to others by one’s fashion by one’s way of speaking and way of talking by the type of furniture one has in one’s home, but is more concerned with what they are giving to others. Actual self confidence doesn’t mean we become absorbed in our egoistic self .The art of real self consciousness is to become selfless, because in becoming selfless there is inner fulfillment.
So it is very important to understand that real self confidence is not simply that I’ve achieved & I can conquer more ,because that kind of self confidence doesn’t bring any real inner fulfillment, whatever you do you always have to have more….. more and more. Real self confidence is when we’re actually finding fulfillment & satisfaction with who we are and what we represent within this world .Now some fools may think that that type of self confidence that type of inner peace is an impediment to making great strives of achievements in this world; it is not rather it is just the opposite. The pure our motive the greater courage and faith we have to accomplish things way beyond the horizon of even our imagination. When we have such inner self confidence anything we pursue is actually easy, it may be difficult mentally and it may be difficult physically but when we have the will the confidence and the faith that makes anything easy.